Monday, August 24, 2015

nine truths and a lie

As I get ready to start a new job, I am reminded of that ice breaker two truths and a lie. Did anyone else have to do that at every orientation ever? I have decided that it might be fun to play that today on my first day at my new job. Obviously just with you, not my new coworkers. I don't need them to know how crazy I am just yet :)

1. I am slightly obsessed with the show Catfish on MTV.  I DVR it because I have no idea when it actually comes on and, much to Brandon's dismay, I like to spend my Friday nights binge watching it. It is my absolute favorite tv guilty pleasure since the Duggars have been booted.

2. I worry about being a good parent. I worry about how I am going to make sure Natalie and any other children we have are strong but gentle, independent but willing to ask for help, confident and compassionate. I worry about being able to give my children all the things I think they need.  I worry that I am going to miss something because I work full-time. I worry that my child(ren) will resent me for not being home with them. I worry that if I am home with them, I won't feel personally fulfilled and that will make me feel guilty or make me a bad mom.  I worry about inflicting my own insecurities onto my child(ren).  I wish someone had told me that so much worrying comes with parenting; although, I probably wouldn't have believed them.

3. I have the most serious case of baby fever, but I completely understand that now is not the right time for our little family to grow.  I cope with my desire to have another baby by obsessively planning for one. Planning for things is a huge coping mechanism for me. My pinterest is proof of that.

4. Brandon and I plan to renew our vows in our backyard next year on our 5th wedding anniversary. So many things went wrong on our wedding day (no veil, no rings, missing pictures, unnecessary drama) that it's my way of dealing with it.  I am looking forward to having a simple little wedding complete with taco bar.  I have been planning this vow renewal since probably November of 2011. (See what I mean about the coping?)

5. My favorite mail day is when the Pottery Barn catalog comes.  If I hit the mega millions lotto, I would gut my house (or buy a new one...) and make it look like it belonged on the Pottery Barn website. I have big dreams of rustic farmhouse chic. One day... 

6. Since I have to be realistic about home decor and demo, Brandon and I have opted to take the house one room at a time. Our dining room project has been one of my favorite things we've done with the house so far (besides the floors, of course!). I have really enjoyed taking our time and picking out the details and colors more thoughtfully than I/we did with our townhouse. It has been fun to really learn what we both like when it comes to decor - especially light fixtures. It's funny that we have lived together for six years and I am just learning that Brandon hates most decor things that I love.

7. I have more gray hair than I am comfortable with. A few glistening grays, I could handle. But lately, I am noticing more and more gray. I'm not even 30. My hair needs to understand that just because I go to bed before 9, doesn't mean that I am 90. 

8. As vain as I admit I am about certain things, I don't wear make-up. It's too much work and I feel like I don't look like myself. My mom never wore make-up so I never really had anyone show me how it was done when I was in my early teen years.  And when I did apply make-up, I felt like I looked like a clown. I am mad at myself for not speaking up more about the make-up for my wedding. I was too worried about hurting the stylists feelings. That being said, sometimes when I am feeling the need to be fancy (i.e. for weddings and outings to restaurants), I will wear eyeliner. 

9. I am addicted to Starbucks dirty chai. I have one almost every day.  If you like coffee and chai - I highly recommend trying it out! 

10. After saying goodbye to my parents, I was a totally composed grown-up as Natalie and I made our way through the airport to security on Saturday morning. 

Can you spot the little fib? 

Spoiler Alert: it's number 10. I cried like a baby and was comforted by the nicest TSA person in the history of airports. I hate living so far away from my parents. 

Fear not, I will recap my trip to see them later this week :)