Thursday, August 7, 2014

mixed emotions on first year growth

This morning I was texting with Jordan.  It's true, we are completely codependent.  And, like every day, she sent me an updated picture of Zachary.  I seriously cannot get enough of that little boy.  Today though, it was different.  Today he looked so much bigger than he did yesterday.  His eyes were wide open taking in the world.  His hair was post bath fluffy.  His head seemed so stable in the picture.  He looked like a baby, of course, but not a tiny fresh newborn baby.  Just an adorable little baby boy and he is only two weeks new.  How is that change already happening?

While Natalie was never quite so small, she was once smaller.  It made me think about that time just a short eight months and change ago when Natalie was in that stage: that new little baby face but losing that fresh newborn baby look.  They grow up so fast.  How does that happen?  You blink and they are almost walking.



It's the weirdest set of mixed emotions.  You want to see them grow and get bigger and stronger, reinforcing what an excellent nurturing mother you are.  But then, at the same time, you want them to stay small and snuggley.  Natalie is on the brink of taking her first steps and while I am so excited for that milestone, I want her to stop growing-up so fast.  She has six teeth coming in right now to go along with her other two.  How is that possible? I feel like at almost nine months old she is on the brink of being a toddler and I am not okay with it.  She is so smart and so strong.  Clearly, we are doing something right, but I am just not ready for her to be such a big girl.  Seeing those pictures of Zachary makes me miss when Natalie was itty bitty and toothless.  It makes me quite emotional about my little miss.  

Any other moms out there feeling like that?  If only it was possible to freeze time, just for a little bit.  But we can't, so we move forward, still wishing that they stay little just a bit longer.  While I won't miss the teething, I will definitely miss the snuggles that go with it.


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