Monday, February 10, 2014

200 and counting...

I cannot believe the blog is celebrating 200 posts!  And what a roller coaster ride those 200 posts have been!  From the first post when I got engaged and started planning my wedding, to the actual wedding day and becoming a wife(!), to buying our first home, opening up about infertility and then the birth of Natalie - it's crazy how far we've come. 

Now 200 posts later, I have done quite a bit of reflecting about the blog and where to go from here.  I look back at the posts when I felt the needed to explain myself and my morals and I regret that.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, even if they don't align with our own.  After dealing with so much scrutiny for that, I know it's something that I want to make sure to teach Natalie - respect for people's opinions, morals and values.  It's crazy to read posts from the last three years and feel the excitement about getting married again, feel the anxiety of trying to have a baby and going through fertility treatment, feel that sigh of relief when we got pregnant and finally that surge of joy when Natalie arrived.  It's incredible to see how my relationship with Brandon has grown and evolved.  I guess that happens when you've known someone for the better part of a decade. Dang... that makes me sound so much older than I am.

What started as a simple "oh my God - I am getting MARRIED" blog has really evolved into something more.  I have shared so much of my life and who I am.  I am a wife, a homeowner, a career woman and a mother.  I mean - seriously? Now, I have the bling, beau (er... husband) and baby that I have always wanted. Does life get any better?

So where do I go from here?  After the recent loss of a good friend, I think I just want to slow things down and keep things a little more simple and upbeat.  While I know things aren't always going to be sunshine and rainbows, I want to try and live my life more positively.  I want to let go of all of the negative and toxic people and things and just hold onto the things that are important in life.  I want to write about our cozy little home and the redecorating, improving and remodeling we're doing along the way and the things that we're learning as first-time homeowners.  I want to write about Natalie and how much she is growing, changing and learning and all the things I want to teach her. I want to write about being a mom because it is so surreal and life-changing.  It is such an incredible privilege that so many take for granted.  I want to write about being a wife and my incredible, amazing, supportive husband.  I want to write about our little family: the holidays, the vacations and even the mundane day to day happenings.  I want to write about infertility and help people who are struggling to know that there is hope and there are people who understand.  And most of all, I want to write about learning how to live and love in this crazy world because losing Mike at such a young age was a reminder that this one life is all we have so we better take full advantage of it.