Wednesday, July 31, 2013

oh you know, just some emotional ramblings after a sleepless night

This morning I am feeling so overwhelmed with emotions - mostly gratitude. I really do have some of the most amazing, supportive and generous people in my life.

I woke up this morning to Hank kicking me to turn the alarm off.  I wish I was kidding.  For the record - this is not the best way to start the day.  I had a minor meltdown because of the lack of sleep I got last night.  Between the lower back pressure from having a full bladder and getting up to pee what felt like every hour, the inability to get completely comfortable thanks to the little girl kicking me every time I rolled over a little too far onto my stomach, to Gemma growling because Hank takes up her space, and Hank kicking me in his sleep all night - it was a brutal slumber... or lack there of.  Poor Brandon took the brunt of it this morning but, in typical Brandon the miracle worker fashion, he just hugged me and kissed my forehead and said we'd be ok.  Isn't he wonderful? :)

I stood in my closet this morning what felt like forever, feeling enormous (how is that even possible considering just yesterday I felt small?!) and unable to find something to wear.  Then I saw the bag on the floor full of maternity clothes from my co-worker/friend Elizabeth.  THANK GOD for Elizabeth. She brought in a bag of maternity clothes for me weeks ago.  In fact, it was on her due date, three days before her planned C-section, the day she actually ended up giving birth to her adorable son Colton. Somehow in all the madness of having a toddler at home, planning for maternity leave and being 40 weeks pregnant, she thought of me.  I could cry right now because it makes me so emotional.  I threw on some khakis and a tank top and pulled the softest navy blue sweater out of the bag. All of a sudden, Wednesday seemed so much more manageable. My engagement ring and wedding band look really blingy next to this blue and that felt so good for some reason. The material of the sweater is so comforting AND it is really flattering.  Little does she know, Elizabeth definitely saved my morning.

Brandon took me to breakfast at Dunkin this morning and while they put strawberry cream cheese on my bagel instead of blueberry, they made my decaf French vanilla iced coffee PERFECTLY so I really don't even care. Coffee > Bagel.  Not to mention, Brandon also got me a perfect chocolate iced sprinkled donut and a blueberry muffin... some of my favorite breakfast things. Again - I am married to the most thoughtful miracle man.

When I got to work, I got the LAST parking space and I didn't have to valet my car.  #WINNING. (What a pathetic victory, but a victory nonetheless!) When I got to my floor, I ran into my co-worker Christi.  She just got back from maternity leave and she looks AWESOME.  It's very inspiring considering she just had baby #2.  I haven't ever been close with Christi and I couldn't really tell you much about her.  We just make basic small talk, but today Christi really touched my heart. She stopped me and asked if I needed any maternity clothes or baby items.  She is doing some cleaning and getting rid of things and wanted to know if I needed anything. I could have cried.  Thankfully, I have lots of fall items thanks to Elizabeth so I am set, but the gesture made me emotional.  She does have a bassinette she is giving away and I told her I would gladly take that off her hands.  One less thing on the registry and one more thing to make me feel prepared for the little girl, which is the BEST feeling ever. To top it off, Christi sent me an email subject: from mom to mom which told me insider secrets on area consignment shops and the upcoming tot swap in September.  Seriously - talk about being an awesome thoughtful person.

I really am so fortunate to work with the people I work with.  Elizabeth saved my day with the maternity clothes she gave me to use.  Jessica saved my sleep (minus last night thanks to that loveable pitbull of mine) by lending me her snoogle. Mickey gave me a maternity bathing suit from 20 years ago (not even kidding); and while I didn't end up using it in Florida, the gesture was so sweet and unexpected.  Monica always makes sure I am ok and my feet aren't swollen and I have what I need to prop them up and she always checks to make sure the little girl is ok and I have an afternoon snack. Emily, Donna, Kendra and Paige offer constant support and laughs.  Caitlin makes sure that I keep my sanity and that I always eat lunch - something I am generally really bad at because I tell Brandon (who asks every day if I need lunch) that I don't need lunch. And I don't know where I would be without my team: Azure, Sheila, Rachel and Jordan.  I am SO lucky. All of these incredible women, and others that I work with, were such a support system when I was going through treatment and now that I am pregnant - they have been my absolute lifelines. They are there for everything from secret ultrasound scans, to where to find the best deals on clothes and baby things, to making sure my registry has things on it I will actually need/will use, to encouraging me when I feel like a whale and making me laugh so hard I am convinced I might pee my pants.

It might have been a rough start to the day, but thanks to some of the wonderful people I have in my life - I think I might just survive hump day. Weird.