Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Mr. Amazing and the Chalkboard :)

If you read my blog, you know that my husby is some kind of wonderful.  He is supportive and compassionate, especially during this trying time.  He is my constant source of support and in the last few weeks, he has really worked on being better about this whole fertility thing.  Not that he wasn't great before, but now he allows me time to talk to him about it without changing the subject or getting frustrated and cranky.  He has started to open up about things and let me know where he is on things.  He has really surprised me with this change.  I have felt so much better about things and our relationship has taken on a new dynamic.  I am usually the level headed calm one, pushing for optimism and he is the one that flirts with the realist/pessimist line.  Now, while I worry about the negatives, he is the positive one, pushing for optimism.  Seeing this side of him makes me fall in love with him all over again.

Last year, along with the rest of the world, I started following the blog little baby garvin. I was instantly hooked and obsessed with her pregnancy chalkboard.  This chick is seriously creative and absolutely hysterical.  Now that baby Garvin has been born, she updates about home projects and crafting, entertaining and being a mom.  I love it.  I mentioned to Brandon in passing my obsession with her chalkboard.  I was not convinced he paid me any mind.  Regardless of that, I thought that was the coolest idea.  Clearly, I was not the only one - so many people I know who are currently pregnant are doing the chalkboard timeline too.  It's adorable and a great way to really remember every little moment.  As a scrapbooker, I was obsessed with an idea that would lead to obvious scrapbook pages.

How are these two things related?  I will tell you.  Last week I had an absolutely terrible dream.  I was reliving a conversation I had had with someone who told me that my miscarriage was God's way of saying I wasn't meant to be a mother.  Only in my dream - the person kept saying it over and over again.  It was a constant sucker punch and I couldn't wake myself up to get out of the dream.  Eventually, Brandon woke me up and all I could do was cry.  I was so angry.  I didn't understand why this was happening to us.  We had done everything right, everything in order.  Why was life so unfair?  Ok, a little dramatic, I know, but if you are going through this then you completely understand.  Brandon just hugged me and let me cry.  He kissed my forehead and promised we would get through this.

Wait, what does that have to do with a chalkboard?  I'll tell you.  This weekend, Brandon surprised me with the most perfect homemade chalkboard.  It is beautiful.  And he said it's my reminder that this is going to happen for us and I will get to document every step of the way. How friggin' romantic is that?!
Seriously - could I be married to a more incredible man?  I am very lucky to have such a supportive, encouraging and crafty (in a manly way, of course) husband.  Thank you, Lori, for raising the man of my dreams.